FEATUREDSTORY
Domestic Violence
DISPARITY FEATURED
THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR ABUSE
Abused and Affraid
Women may be afraid of strangers, but it's a husband, a lover, a boyfriend, or someone they know who is most likely to hurt them. According to a U.S. Justice Department study, two-thirds of violent attacks against women are committed by someone the woman knows. In the United States, one of the most dangerous places for a woman is her own home. Approximately 1,500 women are killed each year by husbands or boyfriends. About 2 million men per year beat their partners, according to the F.B.I.
Is there a profile of men
who batter their partners?
Most experts say there is no one profile of men who batter or beat women. Domestic violence crosses all social and economic boundaries. According to Dr. Susan Hanks, Director of the Family and Violence Institute in Alameda, California, men batter because of internal psychological struggles. Usually, men who batter are seeking a sense of power and control over their partners or their own lives, or because they are tremendously dependent on the woman and are threatened by any moves on her part toward independence.
Some men batter because that's the only way they know how to be close to or relate to a partner. Some men grew up in violent households, where they watched their mothers abused by their fathers and where they themselves were abused. Some men become violent under the influence of drugs or alcohol, although the substances themselves do not cause the violence.
Why don't women leave
abusive relationships?
Leaving a relationship, no matter how abusive, is never easy. Women who leave relationships often have to opt for living in poverty. That's a very difficult choice to make. There are many social, cultural factors that contribute to encouraging women to stay and try and make the situation work. Often, violence is a familiar pattern for the woman, as well as the man. In addition, women often love the men who abuse them, or at least love them initially. Men who batter are not 100 percent hateful, but they can be loving and attentive partners at times.
Some women remain emotionally and/or economically dependent on the batterer despite the fact that she faces continued abuse if she stays with him. Women are at highest risk of injury or violence when they are separating from or divorcing a partner. Women can be very intimidated by a partner and the consequences of her leaving. It takes a long time for a woman to give up hope in a relationship and to recognize that the only way she can be safe is to leave him.
Why don't men leave relationships that are supposedly so unsatisfactory to them?
If we listen to men who abuse their wives, what we hear is how terribly inadequate these women are for the men. At the same time, we know that abusive men are tremendously dependent on their partners. Fear of rejection, emotional withdrawal, and/or abandonment are major factors that actually cause these men to be violent. Men who batter women are often psychologically incapable of leaving the relationship.
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