FELLAS
THIS IS HOW WE SEE IT
POINT OF VIEW
A MAN'S P.O.V
Things Men Fear Most About Aging
The prospect of impotence was scarier than cancer or death to readers of a men's magazine in a 2001 poll. Perhaps there's a good medical reason for this: Otherwise healthy men who have erectile problems have been shown to have abnormal coronary tissue, higher incidence of high blood pressure, high blood fat, and other markers of heart disease.
Fear fighter: Have your cholesterol checked. Three-fourths of men with erectile dysfunction (ED) have abnormal cholesterol. "Two-thirds of men who've had heart attacks had ED that predated angina by at least three years," says urologist John Mulhall, director of the Sexual Medicine Program and the Sexual Medicine Research Laboratory at Weill Medical College of Cornell University in New York City.
Weakness
It's said that knowledge is power -- but for men, so is physical power itself. "Men value strength and vigor more -- and when it starts to slide, they take it much harder than women do," Robbins says. "Losing physical strength adds to their overall sense of loss: 'If I can't lift things, what kind of man am I?'"
by: Paula Spencer
Withdrawal and Avoidance - this is when one partner shows an unwillingness to get into or stay with important discussions. Withdrawal can be as obvious as getting up and leaving the room or as subtle as "turning off" or "shutting down" during an argument. Avoidance reflects the same reluctance to participate in certain discussions, with more emphasis on preventing the conversation from happening in the first place.
Invalidation - is a pattern in which one partner subtly or directly puts down the thoughts, feelings or character of the other. Sometimes such comments, intentionally or unintentionally, lower the self-esteem of the targeted person. Invalidation can take many forms. One partner says to the other that their feelings (for example: sadness and frustration) are inappropriate. Invalidation hurts. It leads naturally to covering up who you are and what you think, because it becomes just too risky to do otherwise.
RECOGNIZING PROBLEMS EARLY
The Relationship is on Fast Forward
From the moment you met he seemed to be completely smitten. He calls constantly and wants to see you every day, leaving you dizzy with the frenetic pace of a whirlwind courtship. Less than a week later he claims you are his girlfriend and starts with future talk. Sadly, many women are so anxious to be part of a couple that they fail to stop and analyze why things are so intense so quickly. Red flag! When a new man rushes you towards commitment, he is trying to hide something. His goal is to sweep you off your feet and keep you from thinking too much by showering you with calls, dates and expressions of emotion. If your date responds negatively to your request to slow things down by guilt-tripping or shaming you into doing things HIS way and at HIS speed, you must recognize the game that is being run and exit the relationship immediately.
Insists You Pay Half on the Date
Normally when a mature male asks a female out on a date, it is understood that he is paying for it. He selects the venue and entertainment based upon his financial standing and interest in impressing his date. A guy that asks you out then insists that you pay half is miserly and cheap. Generous men give of themselves and their resources willingly. Sadly, most women don't understand the association between a man's willingness to pay for a date, and his willingness to give of himself - the two are inextricably linked. Normally, men go out of their way to impress a woman they are interested in, and pull out all the stops to show her what a great guy he is. However, men that are tightwads care more about themselves than they ever could you or a relationship with you. Men that are miserly with their wallet are also tightwads with their heart and time. If you decide to continue dating him, understand that you will be one of those women in a lonely, emotionally barren relationship a few years down the road.
You're Totally Desperate and Your Biological Clock is Ticking
Some women are very ready for a serious relationship or marriage, and there's nothing wrong with that. You do, however, want to avoid coming across as anxious and desperate to find a man. Those of you that are desperate and anxious will attach yourself to the first man that shows interest. Though this individual is NOTHING you ever claimed to want, you desperately hang onto him trying to “make it work.” Or you may find yourself repeatedly involved in passionate relationships with people that are emotionally mentally or physically unavailable (i.e. married, long-distance Internet relationships, convicts, workaholics with no time for you, or FWBs that leave you feeling used and lonely). Your friends and family scratch their heads and wonder what you see in these losers that they don’t.
LADIES...
DO YOU
SEE RED
ANYWHERE?
The Good News is that relationships can be saved and enriched by communication, problem solving skills, and enrichment training.
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