The first thing to do if you decide to leave a violent situation is to think about how safe you feel when you leave.  If you think that your abuser will continue to pursue you until you return you should contact your local authorities for a retraining order.  There are a few downfalls to a retraining order; the police cannot enforce the retraining order until it’s been broken even if the abuser calls or sends letters and is a draining court process.  Be assured that if they are broken your abuser will be arrested and there will be a record of the behavior. 

If you are planning to leave that’s a great first step but not the last.  You have to put together a plan for your safety and the safety of your children (if there re any involved).  Your exit plan should be like a strategy.  Know what makes your attacker angry. Use those signifiers as a way to know when you should find a safe place for you and your children.  With that said know your safe places inside and outside your home.  Small-enclosed spaces with no exit are not the best option.  Always be prepared to leave at a moments notice.  In this instance, having a few items for “just in case” handy might help you, so consider putting together a “Domestic Violence Escape Kit”. 

    * Money for cab fare
    * A change of clothes
    * Extra house and car keys
    * Birth certificates
    * Driver’s license or passport
    * Medications and copies of prescriptions
    * Insurance information
    * Checkbook
    * Credit cards
    * Legal documents
    * Address books
    * Valuable jewelry
    * Papers that show jointly owned assets

Conceal it in the home or leave it with a trusted neighbor, friend, or relative. Practice your escape plan and include your children in that practice.  Make sure they know how to call 911 in an emergency and sit down with them and help them understand what to do and not to do. Once you are safely away from your attacker make sure you keep your location disclosed.

    * Get an unlisted phone number.
    * Use a post office box
    * Apply to your state’s address confidentiality program
    * Cancel your old bank accounts and credit cards. When you open new accounts, be sure to use
              a different bank.

If you are in a domestic abuse situation never feel alone or without an option.  There are shelters for battered women and children as well as help hotlines.